young team manager

Final Fantasy Haircut

2007-04-30T16:56:00.000-07:00

Those of you who will get this will get this, then there's the rest of you. This is real by the way. I couldn't make this shit up. It's in the city of Chicago on Lawrence Ave.

Idiot Fiction

2007-03-05T09:48:00.000-08:00

powered by ODEO
This is the first installment of a new "Crappy Readings Series, which I don't know if will be hosted as part of {firebreather} or will necessitate it's own home, but either way, we are putting way to much effort into sub-bad fiction.

This particular story was written by 28 year old Patrick Finnigan of New Pallantine Indiana. He's dead so you can't write to him and complain.

UPDATE: It actually has necessitated it's own site: Idiot Fiction so, check it out and don't blame me.

RE/Search in ReGen

2006-12-29T23:34:00.001-08:00

Hola! My interview with V. Vale of RE/Search has been published by those lovely folks at ReGen. Have a look here.

Fire Breathing

2006-12-20T11:04:00.000-08:00

Hey everybody, be sure to check out my new blog, {Fire Breather} which shall prove to be a safe house for my personal rants, philosophy, diatribes, etc.

Have the fun.

Carl Sagan, ReAnimator.

2006-12-20T10:39:00.000-08:00

This is a re-post of an old image I made, but it is to celebrate, along with the rest of the blogosphere, the 10th Anniversary of his Death.

Carl Sagan along with Lewis Thomas and Darby Crash, was (is) a great hero of mine, I spent a good deal of last year viewing his wonderful Cosmos series, and The Demon Haunted World remains one of my all-time favorite books. Carl Sagan was an arch-scientist. The scientist as humanist, poet, and philosopher that should be at the helm of our cultural endeavors as opposed to the buffoons we regularly suffer to make decisions for "the good of mankind." Dedicated to reason, Sagan continued to fight the good fight up until his death with modesty, compassion, and love of all life. You will not be readily forgotten.

"But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown."

"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring."

"The universe is not required to be in perfect harmony with human ambition."

"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known."

PROOFREADING

2006-11-26T22:07:00.000-08:00

chek out waht i found in my inbox! talk abo wait reallly h ow cgreat is that? i so luv hahah to desgignhing a my atotoo. so killer! killa! lol!

clik pic for th bigg viu

whatsup i cantt wayt! lets!

ps - for the record, yes, this is real, and yes, his name trails off as "maaaaaaaattt!!!!1" like, with a 'number one'. awesum!

Maaaaaaatt!!!!!1's MySpace profile

Space Captain: Episode 1: The Premiere: The Return

2006-11-22T19:51:00.000-08:00

Space, truly a frontier.

Captain Von Baron Titanic is in a tight spot! First a dangerous asteroid belt and then an encounter with the nefarious space-criminal Black Hole Zone! Will the Captain Von Baron make it out of this one in one piece! Watch this week's first installment to find out!

Videobomb Link
YouTube Link

screaming from the archives (piles of junk in my room)

2006-11-20T22:54:00.000-08:00

For all of you who have been on the edge of your seats since May, here is the resolution to the post about YTM wearing full body unitards. It was for a video a friend of ours was making. I recently found this video buried beneath a pile of junk in my room. I cleaned my room; this is why I found something. We had little to do with what you see taking place in the video, but we did wear unitards and get horrible akward sunburns because of them (except for Jake. I laughed at Jake for putting on sunscreen). I think the moral of the story is: it's much more fun to go up in a hot air balloon than to watch a video of yourself going up in a hot air balloon. However, for the sake of closure here's:

YouTube Link

Refugio Redux

2006-11-17T13:59:00.000-08:00

Because you demanded it a long time ago:

i demand you remake this short at once as the best part of those characters is the amazing voices you created for them, therefore: a silent film can not do the story justice. fix it!

And because I stayed home sick from work today, YTM have produced our sterling masterpiece. Actually we are just COMPLETELY boring and out of fresh ideas so we have taken a cue from Hollywood and just resorted to remaking our old stuff.

here's a link to the original

Videobomb Link
YouTube Link

it's everywhere you want to be

2006-11-16T21:43:00.000-08:00

This commercial for Visa was made using only footage from the film Cannibal Ferox (1981. Umberto Lenzi). The only reason this was made is because of that damn "American Express shot" they had in the movie. That part is Completely unedited. They brought this ruin upon themselves and deserve to have their stupid knock-off of Cannibal Holocaust turned into a commercial for a credit card company. For those of you wondering, I promise you this is better than the actual film.

Videobomb Link
YouTube Link

What Is It?

2006-11-12T12:10:00.000-08:00

Last week I had the good fortune of attending a press showing of Crispin Glover's film What Is It? followed by the opportunity to conduct a video interview with him for Thirsty Media. This was to be the culmination of a three year mini-obsession for me. After seeing the trailer for the film, it sprang right to the top of my list of things I had to absolutely see regardless of the circumstances. I did more research into the past of Crispin Glover. I ordered his album, found a signed copy of his book "Oak Mott" in New York (that copy is now double-signed), and even snagged a supper bootlegged copy of his film "Rubin and Ed." The official article will be online come December 1st, but in the meantime, here is the audio from the exchange complete and unedited, along with a trailer for the film. What Is It? is the first of a trilogy. He has finished production of the second film, "It Is Fine, Everything Is Fine." If you live in the Chicago area, I highly recommend getting your asses out to the Music Box and seeing his presentation next weekend. He is going to be doing an hour of reading from his books (which are great by the way), showing his film, giving a Q & A and also showing Werner Herzog's, "Even Dwarfs Started Small." These films are not going to be widely released, if at all. He only tours with them, so this is a very special opportunity. Highly Recommended!

racism, one big meta joke

2006-11-06T21:22:00.000-08:00

Earlier today it was announced that racism; the hatred and discrimination of other people based solely on the color of their skin or their cultural origins, has been nothing more than one huge meta joke. Exactly who the joke has been on is unclear. The news came in the form of a note taped to my front door. "Just kiddin." It said plainly, but the message was plain. Hatred is a joke. Everyone has gotten along from the beginning, and all this strife and conflict has just been one big put-on at my expense. Good one guys. You got me.

In unrelated news, the Ku Klux Klan; the bastion of racial hatred and bigotry, hung up their hoods today to mix with some of the local color.

Ian Pfaff is Back!

2006-11-06T21:13:00.000-08:00

Ian Pfaff reporting from the Middle East with an exclusive interview with the one and only Saddam Hussein. It's good to be back in the land of red, white and blue and I don't mean France or Luxemburg or Denmark, or England or Australia. Just good ol', plain ol' crunchy peanut butter lovin' USA!

party like you don't know anything

2006-11-06T16:31:00.000-08:00

For all of you in and around the Chicagoland area, I hope you will grace the Thirsty Media Release party with your presence. I will be there. That should be enough, but there's also some bands playing.

We'll call it a YTM party and not tell anyone. YTM does not and never will condone having enough money to throw a party in it's honor, so we'll hijack other parties for our own end, resulting in the loss of my unpaying jobs.

remember to vote tomorrow

2006-11-05T21:17:00.000-08:00

reproduce. register. revolt. repeat.

if you read this post, your life will be changed

2006-11-04T11:07:00.000-08:00

Hey Gang! Do you want to do work and not get paid at all for it!? Not even in self-esteem or personal satisfaction? If yes, then check out my craigslist Post here and freak out because you know it sounds like the greatest thing you've ever heard of. But seriously, e-mail me and we'll talk if you're interested. Have the fun.

New Thirsty

2006-11-01T18:59:00.000-08:00

Hi everybody. November issue of Thirsty is loose on the internet. Check it out. In it I talk about Jeffrey Lewis, Italian Cannibal Movies, and Jesus Kids. Have the Fun.

exactly how i remember it

2006-10-23T17:30:00.000-07:00

our latest offering comes in the form of a response to a craigslist post; a publication in search of a cartoonist who could make a comic about "college humor, and featuring babes". babes? college? i practically majored in both of those. oh, and if you don't "get it" try going back to college, or being more 'babe-like'. also, i have already submitted this. i'd say wish me luck, but it's already been magiced.

Based entirely on a road sign

2006-10-10T23:46:00.000-07:00

As a quick and helpful explanation, which one might request after seeing our latest Criterion effort, I offer that this film was based on a road sign Jake and I saw in California. There exists a beach called "Refugio Beach". I am not joking. Thus emerges the plight of the single, crappy, Italian father, and his two sons, whose lives and actions are wholly dictated by their names. Enjoy their tough, Italian life.

videobomb link

now that I'm so smart now

2006-10-10T17:03:00.000-07:00

YTM is proud to announce the launch of what should soon prove to be staggering cache of acquired knowledge: i'm so smart now

From the blog:

For years now I have been jabbering away at myself; insisting that I am going to start learning something new every day. Well here I finally go damnit. I have had my starts an stops. I think the most I ever made it consecutively was a week. I have never had the will-power to hold myself to it, but now that my failure is (theoretically) public, hopefully the type of true grit and determination that I always heard about from telemarketers and late night product demonstrations will be infused into the very fiber of my being, and I may finally learn a thing or two.

On this day, the 10th of October, in the year 2006. I, Andrew T. Lyman, do hereby state my intent to, to the best of my ability, learn something new each and every day that I live. Let this be a record of the things which I previously did not know, but know now.

You might learn something if I do.

sharing neighbors

2006-10-08T16:53:00.000-07:00

I happened upon this delightful public bulletin during a stroll through my neighborhood the other October morning.

click on the note for a closer inspection.

hot dispatch from Matt's butt

2006-10-08T16:44:00.000-07:00

Hey, are you too Punk to Fuck? Don't worry, there need be no Cos' For Alarm, because now you can be the Talk Talk of the town with a hot new "His Gyro is Gone" patch!

not vegan.

Thirsty October Issue for your health

2006-09-30T22:37:00.000-07:00

Heads up. Grab a change of clothes cause Thirsty Media's new issue for October is fresh out. I have a featured column entitled: Terminal Evolution and Insect Context.

I also have a review of the new Wolf Eyes and Current 93 albums, and a write up of the New Japanese Music Festival. Give it the old check out. It's a great little publication with a bunch of good people behind it. Read the October Issue and see Rome before you die of boredom.

more dispatches from heaven

2006-09-27T22:04:00.000-07:00

Our old pal Pastor Rodge has illumited us with another heavenly nugget of biblical-biological salvation.

This was back before they tested for AIDS and Hepatitis B and stuff.

pervious words from the good Pastor

Thanks Ma.

the crooked story

2006-09-27T18:53:00.000-07:00

Previous to going down hard, we at YTM were customers of Namesecure.com

Yeah, them.
We have presently moved on. Our youthful naivete has been displaced by gobs and gobs and gobs and gobs of hard calcified knowledge. We are geniuses now. Namesecure is not. A week after YTM went away, and two automated tech support e-mails from namesecure later, I received this lovely SPAM e-mail:

De valued customer,

This is an e-mail to let you know that a week ago, we are going to be deleting your hosting account from namesecure.com. because it will have expired by then. At this point you should have received no notification of it's pending expiration, or our intent to delete it, but in the past it will have been removed. Thank you for any inconvenience this may have caused you. We hope that you have taken this time a week ago to back all of your data up. We hope to continue offering you the best products on the internet. Here is a link to where you can purchase a new hosting account with namesecure.com Link.

Fuck you for your patronage.

P.S. Please do not respond to this e-mail. We wont receive it. Also you cannot call us because we don't have a phone. Sorry.

P.P.S. Namesecure.com is no longer run by humans. It's incredible customer service is a result of randomly coded chance. Happy Birthday!

note:this is not the actual e-mail I received, the actual e-mail did not use the word "data".

So we have switched hosts. Hopefully we can all look forward to more uninterrupted bim-bam yo-blastin in the future from your friends at YTM

Regards,
The Young Team Management